我决定在这个空间写最后一篇，为啥捏？因为我想换个空间。为啥我想换个空间？你管得着吗。

珏哥哥曾经无比严肃的质疑过我们这些芸芸众生写网络日志的动机，原话我不记得了，总结了一下就俩字：虚伪。本豆举双手双脚赞同。用老猫比较善良的话说：blog是个很social的地方。我们不说假话，我们只是选择说什么怎么说。就好比拿蒜当葱卖给我的小贩——他没有说这是棵蒜，只是没有否认它是棵葱。那颗蒜也没有说自己是棵葱，它只是不开腔。每个贬义词附近都有一个值得同情的中性词甚至褒义词，我们要懂得避重就轻。装X就是说的这么一回事。说着说着我就悲愤了起来。生平最郁闷的就是装X的人，可惜自己偏偏还喜欢装——有句老话怎么说得来着？人性本贱嘛。

 

所以啊，我还是要假模假式的感谢一下那些轻飘飘沉甸甸的日子，感谢陪伴我走过这些日子的你们。

 

At last thank Stella and Matthew for teaching me that life isn't about the past but the future. We are blessed with the past but made for the future.

 

In the future, 我们的目标是：继续过有意义的生活写没有意义的blog。

"Each of us has something with us which won't be denied, even if it makes us scream loud to die. We are what we are, that's all. Like the old Celtic legend of the bird with thorn in its breast, singing its heart out and dying. Because it has to , it's driven to. We can know what we do wrong even before we do it, but self-knowledge can't affect or change the outcome, can it? Everyone singing his own little song, convinced it's the most wonderful song the world has ever heard. Don't you see? We create our own thorns, and never stop to count the cost. All we can do is suffer the pain, and tell ourselves it was well worth it."

 

I didn't say the words above nor do I think my pain is as spectacular as that of a thorn bird. Just wanna share a few words that may somehow sooth away the helplessness of being sober and alive at the same time, where life sucks and...rocks.

 

Too many people I know are too proud to be self-aware. Nothing but pity can I feel for them. Pride is sth I cherish; self-knowledge, sth I admire.

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To clear up some misunderstanding: this is not about my pain but a book I've just read and some thoughts it has evoked. I am neither depressed nor hurt. I am perfectly happy, just a little nervous about my journey toward the other side of the ocean. 

 

我说的是我本本，真正的涅磐重生，洗净前生罪孽。

其实症状极其简单：机器自动关机之后再也打不开，dell的图标闪过之后就黑屏，硬盘灯也不闪，什么系统盘都不读，所以重装都没可能。比较有趣的是我打电话到dell，问第一个人，可不可能是bios中了病毒呢？他说可能。问第二个人：可不可能是硬盘分区被病毒破坏了？有可能。于是我有限的生命就被困在了这无限的可能性里。

 

虽然dell的客服再三恐吓我说debug过后硬盘数据不能恢复，看着我本本黑黢黢深不见底的表情，一咬牙一狠心还是按了enter。之后重装还算顺利，只重来了一次。重装之后马上安上正版诺顿和360safe，重启了无数遍终于升级完毕。

 

小川哥哥在得知我前前后后勤勤恳恳把这个冤家格式化了两遍之后除了“啊啊啊”再无言以对。不过他老人家在认真研究了一番那个debug命令后认定是我的资料还有救。于是开始下finaldata，下下来发现没有rar解压软件……msn的远程协助是个非常好玩的东东。现在finaldata正在断壁残垣里奋力为我拾破烂。

 

在本次危机之后我得出的结论是孩子不能惯着，你越是心疼她不让她干脏活累活她就越猖狂。当然我承认我没有备份数据的好习惯是值得谴责的。在同与dell客服的斗争中得出的经验是：我和peter都是没出息的孩子。

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PS:昨天有个孩子发给我一首赞美我的现代诗歌，写得很有感情，大家share一下

 

 

 

 

昨天晚上跟四个人说了同样一句话：不行了，我困了，明天还要照毕业照，要睡个美容觉了。今天早上睡眼朦胧的问debby什么时候照像，发现原来明天才是星期三。有趣的是我凭着坚定的信念竟然感染了stella，让她也坚信今天是周三。如果我坚定地信念感染了所有人，今天会不会真的就是周三呢？

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记错了日子竟然变得有点不知所措，好像自己不该在今天，只好呼呼睡到现在。还是赶快找校医开转诊条……